I recently saw a Tweet that disturbed me. I won’t quote it, but the basics were that the person they trusted the most only served to cause them pain and that saddened me. It brought back memories from a long time ago, here’s the story.

At the age of 20 a young woman started dating a man 7 years her senior. She was dazzled by his eloquence. Intrigued by his worldliness and excited by his status. Being from a smaller Town and a working class family, She wasn’t used to a sophisticated lifestyle and was entranced. Things started well, but slowly spiralled downhill. It started with gifts of perfume, not as tokens of affection, but so that she smelled the preferred way. Then came choices of clothing and lingerie (not her choice). She was signed up for weight watchers, but only weighed 100lbs at 5ft 8. She was bought teeth whitening products. He only wanted to see her on weekends and she dutiful showed up for 2 years to spend the whole weekend LOCKED in whilst he went out and about. I could go on and on.. The Mental abuse started to take it’s toll and she lost her gregarious personality. She developed Bulimia/Anorexia and hit an all time low. She didn’t think anyone was noticing her decline. She didn’t see that she needed help. When people commented on how skinny she was, she felt empowered and proud. Her Mum and some friends had got together and started keeping notes. She would tell people she had a big lunch so no need for dinner and vise versa. They started to keep track. Eventually they staged an intervention. She couldn’t actually remember the last time she ate, but they tried to force feed her a baked potato. Not the best method to help, but certainly well meaning. The fact that all the people that she had trusted for a long time had got together to rescue her, was like a light going on. With their help and support she made the break and started a road to recovery.

Looking back I have no idea how she went from a confident Teenager to a woman who was so downtrodden that she became a puppet. All I know for sure is that, those who you love and trust, should not try to manipulate you. They should not try to change your essence or dull your flame. They should be your biggest cheerleaders, they should nurture you, champion you and cherish you. I hope the person that wrote the Tweet reads this and they see that all relationships have ups and downs, but if there is only pain and suffering maybe they need their own intervention.


About yorkshiremummy

Born and Raised in Yorkshire, Now at Large in North America. Working Wife and Mum of 2. Occasionally sarcastic, Often inappropriate, but always real! Having snorkeled with sharks in the Maldives, ridden an Elephant in Sri Lanka, swum in an underground river in Mexico and played with Lion cubs in South Africa, currently enjoying the crazy adventure of motherhood!
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4 Responses to Intervention

  1. Him Up North says:

    Things are so obvious in hindsight. I think you’d find we kind of sleepwalk into these things. That young woman shouldn’t blame herself or kick herself for not realising at the time.

    Great post.

    • I’d love to say this kind of thing is rare, but it’s not. I’ve talked to lots of women, strong A type personalities that have experienced similar abuse, others that have had worse including physical violence. I don’t know why, just that it occurs frequently..
      Thanks for your comment and you’ll be pleased to know, she went on to kick some butt later in life

  2. JallieDaddy says:

    Great post. It’s not just women either who can be manipulated by an older Svengali-figure.

    Anorexia / bulimia is an awful disease: it’s great that this woman was able to respond to her friends & family. It’s times like that we realise how much they’re needed 🙂

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