Right place,wrong time


Ever feel like you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or is it the right place at the wrong time?

We’ve seen our fair share of stressful or big events over the last 12 months. It started with the birth of our very beautiful second daughter. It took some time for my SPD to heal. (SPD is when the pubic bone separates further than it should in pregnancy causing intense pain) which in turn brought my first experience of post natal depression. I managed to care for my 2 girls with help, but all the while struggling to keep my temper in check. I couldn’t help wondering if I would feel like that if I were in England, with my support system and that’s how I’m still feeling today.

My Mum is recovering from surgery and I know that I should be there. I should be helping with cooking and laundry. I should be fluffing her pillows and holding her hand through the pain! In addition to that my eldest child has the flu and I had no one to leave my baby with today so I had to drag her to the docs with me and the vomiting Dolly day dream. I just know, had I been in England there would have been an endless supply of people to help out!

My maternity leave is shortly coming to an end. I have mixed feelings about it. I love my girls and feel truly blessed to have them, on the other hand, motherhood does not come easy to me. I go to bed every night knowing I have given it 100% but can’t help feeling like I’m failing when I hear the other mothers who are doing crafts everyday and have their kids enrolled for every program going. Some days I don’t even get to the washing up or laundry!

I really enjoy my job, I like to succeed. Is it wrong of me to want both? To be a success as a mother and in a career? Deep down I’m looking forward to going back to work, but in the back of my mind I’m worried about my baby.. No one knows her like I do. Will she be ok? All I get in response is the first one was fine!

So you see I’m at a cross roads, I feel like one foot is in England and one is in Canada and one arm is wanting to be a stay at home Mum while the other wants to be a CEO. How do i decide what to do? Can i get a job covering 2 continents? The question is can I have my cake and eat it?

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About yorkshiremummy

Born and Raised in Yorkshire, Now at Large in North America. Working Wife and Mum of 2. Occasionally sarcastic, Often inappropriate, but always real! Having snorkeled with sharks in the Maldives, ridden an Elephant in Sri Lanka, swum in an underground river in Mexico and played with Lion cubs in South Africa, currently enjoying the crazy adventure of motherhood!
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14 Responses to Right place,wrong time

  1. Him Up North says:

    Hands and feet everywhere sounds like you’re playing Twister! I think it’s possible to have it all; whether it’s possible to excel at it all… I dunno. It’s all about compromise.

  2. Kate says:

    I agree with HUN, it’s about compromise. There is always a compromise to be made. A compromise is not letting anyone down or settling for something you’re not happy about – it’s about deciding what is non-negotiable and what is. Some things will be set in stone so don’t compromise on them. Others are more fluid and if things have to change, you’ll happily yield.

    Also, don’t kid yourself that everyone else knows the answers, because they won’t. Everyone works it out for themselves. We all make it up as we go along mostly.

    I reckon you can have your cake and eat it, but less of it than you’d like and possibly not your favourite cake… good analogy?

  3. I think having it all is a fantasy. Somewhere along the line there have to be compromises. I guess it’s trying to find those compromises which work for you. Sometimes for me I think it would be easier to give up work and have another baby but then I think that might drive me mad! And I’m at home with all my family and friends around me so I feel for you so far from home when times are tough. Hope your mum is doing ok x

  4. SisterSister says:

    For starters, Although you would have a great help network here in England your girls wouldnt have the quality of life they have over there.
    You are doing a fantastic job with your two babies. They are bright, funny and well behaved. The other mothers exist in every country and are just freaks of nature – heading for a breakdown in later life! lol
    You on the other hand have nutured and cared for each of your children – motherhood does come natural to you ( the ones in the classes, clubs and doing the crafts are faking it hun)
    When you return to work – no matter how old you child is it has been well documented that we all struggle with leaving our offspring with others – and that motherhood equals guilt. but I for one could never have children and not work – it is what keeps me sane (well sort of)
    Miss you and love you x

    • When did you get so smart and grown up? ๐Ÿ˜‰ I don’t know why you always think I know what to say! You do a great job all on your own! Miss you too x

      Sent from my iPad

  5. mummy me says:

    what are you on about you leave me in awe, my grand girls are awsome ,so stop picking on yourself , the girls are fab and thats from you ,the boys are great and thats from there mums also so keep up the good work .if you were doing bad ill tell you xxxxxxx

  6. I know what you mean about wanting it all. Personally I think it depends. I would have previously considered myself a perfectionist and this I feel was my downfall. I wanted to be be the perfect Mammy who did art and crafts with the children, made them homemade well balanced organic meals etc and also successful in the workplace. I found leaving at 5pm was frowned upon by my bosses but neccessary as the children’s bedtime was 07:30pm. Then I would try and work (work brought home from the office), cook meals for the next day, spend ‘quality’ time with my husband, do housework. I think Kate is right you can have your cake and eat it, but its a different kind. Also you don’t have to be perfect as long as the kids are happy & safe, housework can take a back seat.Also delegate, delegate, delegate if you can. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. JallieDaddy says:

    I know what it’s like to be caught between 2 countries: in my case the opposite ends of the earth, UK & NZ. I have family & freinds in both places, so I’m always torn!

    There’s some good advice here; hope you can work things out ๐Ÿ™‚

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